TAG?!

I wasn't good at tag in elementary school, and apparently, I am not so good with tag now! Diana 'tagged' me back in April...but I didn't know it until today. I'm pretty sure the object of this is to reveal 7 things about yourself, and then tag other people. So, with no particular order, here goes!

1. In honor of Father's Day, a random insight about my childhood - we were a hardworking, middle class family...and in the summer, my dad would earn extra money by mowing other people's yards. I would go with him and mow while he would do the edging. He would pay me a little for each of the yards we did. I still love doing yard work, and I am thankful that he taught me the value of sweat, hardwork and serving others.

2. I am addicted to Sudoku (the square game with the numbers). I profess that I play at least one game everyday. Somehow, it is my way of convincing myself that I still have braincells wired to do things besides change diapers and make PBJ sandwiches!

3. Private dream....I wish I could paint. I love colors, and mixing them...I love the sight of blank canvas and oil paint at Hobby Lobby, and wish I could buy some just to mess with it. Hummmm...Maybe someday I will paint (something other than color by number.)

4. I snore. Loudly. Ask my precious husband or my girlfriends who bunked with me when we went to the lake every summer....poor unsuspecting people....

5. I have a weird fettish with antioxidants. We recently discovered two new 'power fruits' - Goji berries, and Mangosteen. I've been a fan of Acai for a while now, as well as the other usual suspects. I guess this ties into the goal of living to be 100 and seeing my name on the Smucker's label when Williard Scott does birthdays on the TODAY show. And yes, I know he'd be like 188 when I turn 100.......but I bet some rascal in his 60's will pronouce my name just fine and tell everyone that I like Antioxidants, oil painting and going to Starbucks for my morning java. And that I am the reigning world champion of Sudoku.

6. My mom recently gave me a watch that was my great-grandmother's. I took it to the jeweler this week, and they fixed it so I can wear it. I love wearing it and thinking about her wearing it when she was raising my grandmother (who was the coolest lady I've ever known, fyi).

7. Let's see....one more thing....a bit vulnerable...but okay, here goes: I adore my husband. Today is Father's Day, and I believe he is the best thing that ever happened to me and our children. I love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I love seeing him with our children and often regret that his mom, Mary, isn't here to see the Dad that he is. I know with certainty that she was so proud of you as a Daddy to Meredith, and would have been amazed at how you have embraced the role of fatherhood to Mere and Cameron. You are a jewel of a man. I love you.


okay.......I now TAG Amy! (This gives you an excuse to sit down and not pack for a few minutes!) hee hee!

Things I Never Thought I Would Write

It's been a good week...I just love summer. It's filled with swimming, sleeping a little later, and just a bit more relaxed than the school year. And of course, TeeBall (WILL IT EVER END??????!!!).

I have to update what the kids are doing these days. It's great. They are just growing so fast and i can't believe it sometimes when i notice that Mere's legs are getting SO long, or Cameron's baby face is beginning to slim. A few random signs that my children are growing:

1. Meredith can go get cups and water from the sink without me now. It involves scooting a chair over to the cabinet....but seriously, that is a true accomplishment!
2. Cameron is now capable of terrorizing Meredith on purpose. He thinks it is hilarious to grab her shirt and just pull so that she screams and runs away.
3. I was the last person out of bed this morning. What? Did I write that correctly?! Oh yes, Meredith got Cameron out of his crib, and they were playing in her room this morning when I came in. Oh don't worry, they were only there for about 5 minutes. She came in and asked me if she could go get him. (I guess she secretly likes him terrorizing her! ha!)
4. We went swimming today, and Meredith didn't have to have floaties or me beside her. She can swim so well now that she goes and does her own thing with her friends. Crazy. Seems like yesterday I was doing Mommy and Me classes at Tech with my other buddies when we were preggers w/ our 2nd kids!
5. Meredith has entered the "mommy" phase of her childhood. The other day, she picked out Cam's clothes and dressed him by herself! (Do you think that she could start doing that everyday?!)

yep, they are growing alright. I know....I know....I hear it all the time - "They grow up so fast! Enjoy this time, it passes too quickly!" Well, let's just say that I'm trying to heed the advice...thus reflecting tonight. Love to each of you - Kristi

Neighbors

I know this is a random post, but really, I must. It seems when I was little, neighbors were people you knew, borrowed sugar or eggs from...and your kids played with their kids next door until after dark and your mom called (screamed) your name until you came home. You knew everyone on your block, and you knew which house the old geezer lived in (and how to annoy him!) Sadly, it seems, neighborhoods of that sort are disappearing. We all have such technologically advanced worlds that involve blackberry's, cell phones, ipods, and Garmins, that we find little time to get to know the people that live 10 steps away.

I happen to live on a street that is quite sweet, for the most part. The two ladies across the street have lived there for more than 30 years, and one of them has so much family that it's a virtual party all the time! We love the fact that there are kids around and besides the creepy guy on the bike (seriously, this guy is on his bike ALL the time), it's a sweet little block to live on.

Which brings me to my post. I debated whether or not to post this, but I must. It's just on my heart. My son's bestest buddy is moving in 10 days. He lives next door. His name is Charlie. (Cameron calls him Car-ee. It's great. He just points at their house now and says, Car-ee. Car-ee. Gotta love it.) Car-ee is absolutely the cutest, most adorable kid. And his parents rock too. They moved in 3 years ago, and have been the best neighbors a girl could ask for. I love that they show up with popsicles or call to ask if Charlie can have a 'brother' for the evening. They've been known to get phone calls from a hysterical mom (uh-hum.....me), when my kiddos were sick (did I mention that Andy's a pediatric dr.?) and I didn't have a clue what to do. They have played pracitcal jokes on us (remember the Tractor Protective Services incident?!), and made me laugh until i nearly peed my pants. They have just made this block so wonderful. And I am sad. I am sad to see them move. Of course, I am ELATED for them, on this new adventure in Virginia. It's just that they have been a blessing in so many ways...a refreshing reminder that good neighbors still exist, but are so very hard to come by. And I know that even though miles will separate us for a time, I trust that the Lord has allowed our paths to cross for good reason. What a treasure you three are to us, BowmanWest - and I am certain that wherever our lives take us, I'd take you as neighbors anyday. God bless you guys, may he keep you safe and protected as you walk faithfully - Kristi

Memorial Day Weekend

I am sitting here this morning watching Cameron eat Frosted Flakes (they'rrrrreeee GREAAAT!) like it's his JOB. Meredith is sound asleep. John left for work a little while ago. I have to say, this is my favorite time of the day. The buzz around the house isn't in full swing, it's relatively quiet, and I'm still in my pj's drinking coffee.

First things first - a shout out to my dad and mom - They just finished their first year of Coach Miller's Driving School! Congrats on surviving the first year - and I pray continued success. What a wonderful group of people that have come along side you guys in this venture. Thank you to all of you who have blessed them in such personal ways.

Question of the day.....Has anyone out there ever wanted to move, but knew it wasn't time yet? And even though you knew it wasn't time, you still REALLY wanted to?! We met with our real estate agent this week to talk about selling our house and moving...either to Abilene or somewhere else in Lubbock. And although we could buy something newer or in a 'better' neighborhood, something keeps us from taking the BIG step. When we pulled up to our house last night, I just looked at our cute little trees (you guys know HOW much i love the trees in my front yard, right? They seriously, are my babies. there's def a tree-hugger within me!), and all of the things that make our house, OUR house, and i knew we couldn't do it yet. As much as our heart yearns for us to live in Abilene, closer to dear friends and blessed family, it isn't time yet. And as much as I want it to be time to move, I don't want to move if it isn't right for our family. John and I agreed last night that what the Lord is doing with us here in Lubbock isn't finished yet. That being said, all of you blog-readers who are wishing and hoping to get the call that we're on our way to A-town.....i'm sorry to say it's not happening just yet. The desire is there, but the avenue isn't. **And on a side note, as I was proof-reading this....I kept seeing the same theme - TIME - and hope that each of you know that even though the TIME isn't right yet - we trust that the Lord will open the doors and make the path right when and if He allows. Thanks to all of you sweet folks...you guys are the reason we wish we lived there!

On a much brighter note, summer at the Lowe house has officially begun! The pool out at The Falls opened this weekend, and we have decided it is going to be the Year of the Floaties. My kids may have tan lines from wearing floaties so much, that's how often we're going to be at the pool!!!!!! Meredith is such a natural swimmer - and i'm totally a lover of the sun....so Cameron better put on those happy floaties and join us in the kiddy pool! Woo hoo!!

quick update....since beginning this post, Cameron finished his 3rd bowl of Frosted Flakes, and has decided he's had enough. For now. Boys!.......

Also on the summer agenda....TRAVELING! We are a traveling crew this summer....John and I are taking "holiday" in Cancun the first week of July, and then going to San Antonio at the end of July (can you say HOT?!). We have decided the kids will be completely spoiled rotten by August from staying with my parents! Meredith knows about our trip to Cancun, but is not as concerned about our trip as she is about the fact that she gets to MOVE (her words!) to Abilene for a week! She keeps telling me that she can't wait to move there so she can swim in TaTa and Papa Bear's pool THREE times a day. Here's a peek at what she believes should (and most likely will!) transpire each day:

Mere: "Mom, when Cam and I move to TaTa's house can i swim every day. So, after breakfast, we'll swim, and then we'll eat lunch and take a nap. Then we'll swim again. Then we'll eat dinner and swim again after that."

Oh she's a mess. But I wouldn't have her any other way! On the Cameron homefront, welcome to the world of boys. Since he finished his three bowls of cereal this morning, I have been playing baseball between typing. Here's the scenario: I hold the ball in my hand, he hits it like it's on a tee with his little plastic bat, then runs the "bases" around the living room. I am typing while he runs. It makes for interesting typing to make sure my thoughts seem somewhat complete!

Well, I should post. Seems i have a mountain of laundry to do, and a little boy that needs a clean diaper. More soon. Love each of you!!!! Kris

Stillness

Well, I sit down today to share something with you. Yes, it's been a while since i've written. I've actually tried several times to write, but things came up before the words got finished. Plus, it's been a bit of a 'season.' Between the small house fire, the gas line, the water heater, the air conditioner, the FENCE!, and now, my car........it's been a wild stretch! But today, I read some words that I really must share. and in light of my recent craziness, I do believe this is quite appropriate. The words come from Graham Cooke, and he is talking about learning to be still before God. I hope they bless you like they blessed me today! Love, Kristi

Graham's Monthly Teaching: Stillness

"Being still opens a channel of communication between us and Heaven. All of us have a background conversation going on in our minds. Head noise, as my friend, the British psychologist, Jim McNeish calls it, is an internal voice, a soundtrack for our lives. It's similar to a special feature on a DVD: an ongoing, one-way, stream of consciousness conversation, commenting on our life as it unfolds. Stillness is not about getting somewhere quiet, although that often helps, but about stilling that voice in your head. It takes discipline to quiet that voice, but you must do it. And you can do it, because God is with you.

It is this initial head noise that we convert into "prayers" when we rush too quickly into intercession. Because we have not stilled ourselves, we pray in our own strength, and we come to God's door under the weight and panic of the circumstances facing us. We speak often and are rarely still-in fact, we are the complete opposite of God.

God is always still and He rarely speaks. So there is a difference between the Lord speaking in us, and the Lord speaking to us. When we say, "Oh, God spoke to me," what has normally happened is that out of the storehouse of words, thoughts, meditations, conversations, and Scripture we carry in our spirit, God has selected something previously said to you and brought it back into your consciousness. Like a computer user loading a file, God pulls up the treasure He has already saved in us. "Oh yeah," we think. "That makes sense. That's the Lord speaking." God punctuates His silence with words, and when God speaks, it's an event. When He speaks to you, something is imparted. His presence is profound. He spoke once, and the whole earth was created. When God speaks, something happens, something is shaken, something is created and produced. When the Lord speaks to us, there is always a dynamic residue of His presence which remains with us-it is a signature moment!

In Psalm 46:10, God told David, "Be still, and know that I am God." It was a word that brought a profound sense of the presence of God to David in what were difficult circumstances. It's interesting that Psalm 46 began with an earthquake and finished with "Be still." Only God can talk about stillness in the midst of an earthquake. When the whole landscape of your life is shifting beneath your feet, only God can say, "Be still, and know that I am God."

Knowledge of God comes through peace and stillness. God wants to send us into battle, but if we don't find stillness beforehand, how will we ever find peace in the fight? Rest is our best weapon against the enemy, because rest allows us to hide in our secret place in God. The devil hates you with a malevolence and malignancy that is unimaginable, but he's not stupid: he won't chase you into the holy of holies-the very presence of God-because he knows who he's going to meet there. We need to learn how to use God as our refuge, as our fortress, as our high place, as our secret place where the enemy cannot touch us. If the enemy cannot find you, he cannot hurt you. God has provided a secret place in Him for you.

You have to lose your ability to panic if you're going to walk with God. You have to lose your ability to worry and be anxious if you're going to walk with God. There is a secret place set aside for each one of us. God is love and in His love He has set aside a place where you can live in Him no matter what. He loves to teach people where that place is, because when His children get into their secret place, they can fully enjoy life. It doesn't matter what comes against them--they rise to the challenge. Without stillness, our experience of God is limited. Stillness is the precursor to rest in the Lord; a spiritual discipline drawing us into a continual experience of His presence. It is this rest, this stillness, this secret place of God, which releases unbroken communion with Him; it releases what the Bible calls unceasing prayer."

Easter Sunday 2008

I do believe that Easter morning is more wonderful than any other morning I wake up. On Christmas morning, I am gleeful for the 'santa' stuff as well as Christ's birth....on my birthday, I am good.........but on Easter morning, when I wake up, my heart is flooded with emotion. Every year. Gratitude. Humility. For multiple reasons. On Easter morning, I am filled anew with an inexpressible joy for what Christ did on the cross over 2000 years ago. It's like I wake up with the tears just holding back....and within me is a "bubbling up"....emotions that want to just bust forth and dance around like a crazy woman! And this Easter morning was no different. I sat through the Sunday School lesson and awed over how the message of Christ's Ressurection was the central part of our salvation in the early church. Amen to that! Emotions still bubbling....we sat down in the pews of our little church. But the emotions overflowed when the choir began to sing. When I heard the praises being sung of Christ rising from the dead, that sin has lost it's grip on me....or when I think about what Christ endured so I could live - me, SINFUL, dirty, wretched.........There is emotion, vulnerability within me that I can't keep from bubbling over. The Spirit within me readily agrees! And I cannot keep contained the gratitude and joy I feel on Easter Sunday morning! Who cares that I cry during the worship songs!? I know, I know, I smear that mascara all over the place! But it is ALL in praise to our Father for the perfect gift of salvation through Jesus Christ!

On a bit of a different note....I have decided that there are numerous reasons I am (more) mushy on Easter. First b/c of Christ's death and ressurection. Second because my dearest friend Emily told me she was pregnant on Easter Sunday 2000 (I think that there's something really cool about finding out about a new life on the day the Lord gave all of us New Life!). And finally, and most wonderfully - I am reminded each year that on the evening of that same Easter Sunday 2000, my darling husband proposed to me. Just he and I in Buffalo Gap, TX, outside Nancy and Gene Henderson's barn. Well....8 years later, here we are....blessed in so many ways - the two greatest ones we hold so tenderly in our arms! Easter Sunday, 2008

Blessings to each of you this Easter Sunday!

Within me is a multitude of emotions today. There is joy, anguish, exhaustion and peace all within the same breath. I saw my grandmother for the first time in over 13 years yesterday. She is quite ill, in the hospital recovering from a heart attack - and at age 86, her body is beginning to give way to nature. The truth is, we had a falling out of sorts when I was a senior in high school. It's a long story, but suffice it to say, we were both at fault for not attempting to reconcile before now. Pride got in the way; immaturity, time and distance have a way of creating a divide that seems too large to fix.

But Monday, after a conversation with my brother, he encouraged me to seek out the truth of the matter. I had believed for years that she did not care - that there was total coldness with regard to me. I assumed. Lots of things, I assumed....but one of them being how she felt about me. And truthfully, I didn't want to see her, for fear of what she might say. Afterall, it had been 13 years. But later that afternoon, in a conversation with my dear hubby John, he confirmed what I felt the Lord asking of me - to go. Go to her, and make peace. Go to her and extend the olive branch. The Lord calls us to forgive - to live at peace with everyone as much as is possible within our ability. Now don't get me wrong- my flesh rose up within me immediately. You can't go. What will she say? What if she is ugly to you? The thoughts flooded my mind. Again the Lord confirmed within me to be faithful. Okay Lord, if you are asking this of me, make the path clear...arrange babysitting, etc. And he did. That's SO God - to take care of the details when He brings things like this to me.

So Tuesday morning, I walked into the ICU of The Medical Center of McKinney with my brother. He spoke first - and told her I was there with him. She had been on a respirator until earlier that day, so she was very weak and could not speak well. It was at that point I wanted to run - abort! ABORT! Run - save yourself the agony of rejection!!!!! But my feet were like concrete, and then my eyes met hers. And what happened next, I don't think I will ever forget. I think I said something corny like "Hey it's been a while". Or something like that. It didn't matter. Her eyes lit up. Her arms reached out - She didn't wait - she grabbed me and pulled me down to her. She began to hug me as tight as her arms could and rub my back. I could hear her trying to talk - she was saying over and over - "Forgive me, I'm so sorry. I love you. Forgive me, I'm so sorry. Remember that I love you." Over and over she said the same...Amazing. Grace. We sat for an hour or so, making small talk, mostly stuff she could nod yes or no at. It was unbelieveable how so much distance and time could be removed in an instant. I know that being there, at that moment in my life was exactly where I needed to be, and that really, at the end of the day, this is what life is all about. It's about letting go of our selfish pride and insecurities. It's about reaching out to people that have hurt us, and forgiving.

After our time with her was over, we said our goodbyes and left. It was bittersweet knowing that I may never see her on this earth again. But it was worth every mile I drove. It was a long drive home last night...6 hours in a car by yourself can give you a lot to chew on. In some ways, this healed old wounds, yet opened new ones. But I'll deal with them. One day at a time, as the Lord leads.