Collateral Damage

Ok, I'm ticked. I know, I know, I know...it is the world we live in...it is full of evil and temptation. Heaven knows...just turn on the tv for a minute and you are inundated with sexual explicitness. And sadly, it is the exception to the rule that a man and a woman remain faithful in a marriage anymore. But the sting still hits me afresh everytime. I got a call this morning that a dear friend has suffered this horrid betrayal, only to hear later this morning, another woman tell of her close friend's similar woes, unrelated to each other.

Interestingly, neither conversation prompted by me. Both equally devistating.

Is that what this world has come to? A moment of pleasure? No consideration of the collateral damage?

I looked up the phrase "collateral damage"...because it keeps cropping up in my life...the phrase means "injury inflicted on something other than an intended target." -Merriam-Webster

Injury inflicted.....hurt
On something (someone)......a person

You might not have even intended to hurt anyone by your choice...you might not have entertained the idea that your decision would break the heart of the one who had pledged her life to you. THAT is Collateral Damage. It's what happens unintentionally. But it crushes, nonetheless.

Why? Why must a partner betray another in the most intimate of ways? And trust me, I am not bashing men. Women can betray just as easily as a man can. The two instances I mention above are men, but that doesn't mean it can't happen in the reverse order...or be as equally devistating.

I am writing from the 'cuff' today....not stopping much to edit...because my heart is so full of emotion on the subject. And to clarify...I truly believe cheating can occur well before the clothes come off. Emotional affairs are real, people. Giving another person a place of emotional importance over your spouse is just as much an affair as a physical encounter. Both remove your spouse as the priority in your marriage. In my finite mind, that's black and white. Cheating is cheating.

I'm afraid this might be a very jumbled post to read. I'm quite sure it will be disturbing. My man and I had a moment to talk about the morning's events a few minutes ago. When I got off the phone with John, he softly uttered the words "I love you." I could feel him gently telling me that we are ok. Praise Jesus, I have a man that is emotionally and physically pure in our marriage. He is honest and completely committed. We both are. But that doesn't fireproof it. He recently postulated that there's no way a marriage thrives without the Holy Spirit in a marriage. I agree. The Lord made marriage to be shared between one man and one woman, with the Holy Spirit binding them, interceding on their behalf, and providing a hedge of protection. Yes, I know there are marriages that exist without the Holy Spirit. Exist. Give me one that THRIVES w/o His Power. I dare you to find it.

What now? Well, my heart hurts for my friend, and for all of those who have walked this road. My heart holds those who are affected...those who were not intended to be hurt by another's choice. The spouse, the children, the other person's family...the list goes on. I am praying this day for the places where we are vulnerable to be fortified by His word, by His strength. I am praying for eyes to be wide open to see where the enemy is laying a trap. Even though I don't think John or I would ever betray the other in this way, it is pure foolishness not to be on guard against it.

Praying protection from the evil one over our marriage, and each of yours (or your future spouse) as He leads me today. Forgiveness for where these words are a little scattered...love, kris

it's about time...

What would we do if our fear were put on a shelf and we stepped out in faith on what God would have us do? What would happen if we lived the life He called us to? Can you imagine?

Really?

What if, for one moment, we realized that if He calls us to something, we wouldn't fail?

It's not like he needs us...he is, afterall, the God who made planets, tulips and manatees. But he chooses relationship with us. And in that, he places callings on us. We have the choice to step into them, or to say no.

I think it's about time. Time to put worries aside and step into it. To pursue him fully. Without abandon. It's not about building our own kingdom, but living freely in His.

Summer 09 Update

I haven't been blogging lately. It's been a while. I know. Let's see...since the last post, we have sold a house, bought a new house, moved, unpacked (mostly), begun to update said new house, played T-ball (Meredith) and we have lost our family dog. Lots of exciting stuff, one really bummer thing.

This is one of the last pics I took of Max. Sweet Max. Such a blessing to us for nine years. He was the happiest, friendliest dog you would meet, until he got sick this summer. It's funny how much dogs become part of our families. I miss him terribly. He was my constant companion, enjoying walks, errands in the car, picking kids up from school, and the occasional "Puppy Cone" from Sheridans. John always laughed because Max would "guard" me. Wherever I was, he was there...including my morning shower. He would lay in front of the door while I was in there! In the past week, we have realized one other impressive thing about the guy - he kept our floors so clean! I had NO idea how much he ate the little crumbs off our floor...or how many crumbs fell on our floor in the first place! :) So...here's to you, Max. You were a fantastic dog. You were so loyal, so kind spirited. And the next dog will have big paws to fill that you leave behind.

Okay...movin on...Literally! We moved into our new house in the middle of May, and it's been never ending craziness since then. The boxes are gone, but we are FARRR from being 'settled'. We are planning a small 'remodel' this fall...there is a cool area in our home that (had) a wet bar...but the previous owners sheetrocked it in to make it a storage closet. We are reopening the bar, and are going to update it and the area around it...I promise I'll post pics. It's going to be a really fun area when we get it all done. Anyways, it's a fun house, an amazing blessing. We cannot believe the Lord has blessed us with it...it is incredibly more than we imagined we would find...which makes it all the more obvious that it was His hand on it. And we love it!

Our summer 'entertainment' has been Meredith and the Tball team. What a great group of families. We were so blessed! Our friend Doug Dendy, along with John, Craig Bragg, and a host of other guys helped coach our 13 kiddos this year. A few pics....

Mere's first hit of the year.Mere with her #1 fan, Cameron.
Closing ceremony. Everyone got a trophy, and we snapped pics like it was the College World Series. Good stuff. :)

In other news...I'm working very hard at my photography skills. I took both of the kids for 'photo shoots' this week. And both 'sessions' turned out GREAT! Will post pics after I finish editing a bit. I'm learning how to use Adobe Photoshop. It's a fun program, if I can ever figure out how to use all of the tools! :)

Well...signing off now. Oh...before I close - one more thing. Some of you are Facebook peeps and asked me why I am not Fb'ing for a while. It had become more part of my life than it needed to be, and the Lord showed me that. I have a beautiful daughter who starts Kindergarten in less than a month, a home that needs lots of TLC, and a Jesus who really enjoys spending time with me each afternoon during kids' naptimes. None of those things were getting the attention they deserve because my computer was always on, always checking the status of friends, always chatting. So I'm backing up a bit. We'll see how much and for how long. As He leads.

blessings,

kristi

33 Miles

I sat today with my dear friend....even though we were more than 200 miles apart. We have webcams, so sometimes we 'sneak away' to spend a bit catching up with each other. We have known each other for about 18 years, but as we have grown in adulthood, the Ties that bind us have drawn us much closer together. I always treasure that time with her, and ALWAYS have more questions I wish I had asked her after our time together is over.

It brought me to a point today - there's this song, by a group called 33 Miles, called One Life to Love. In the song, it talks about only getting one chance, one time around to 'get it right'. When its all said and done, we only get one life. After my time with my friend, and i'm in there folding laundry (what else do i do?!), I'm thinking about the things i wish i would have asked her. I text messaged one of them to her, but others remained.

My granddad was in World War II, and held the post of ski patrol in Italy. Fascinating. He died before i ever got the opportunity to ask him about it. My mother-in-law lost the battle with cancer when Meredith was 18 months old. She adored that sweet baby girl...She never knew our son Cameron. He's very much like his darling daddy...strong, particular, and likes order (his room is usually cleaner than all of ours!) I wish I had asked her more about John's childhood, and the things that she remembered from those times. I really wish I could ask her how she convinced him to try new foods...

There are many 'I wish' statements I could make...more than 'I wish' I had. But coming back to my earlier mention of that song by 33 Miles - it talks about only getting one chance to find 'the one thing that you don't want to miss'. What is the one thing you don't want to miss? Your kids growing up? Faith? A marriage that weathers the seasons? (Which...in the pic above, i'm pretty sure was a FUN season...a sweet time of getting away last summer - thanks babe - what a fun memory! ps. sorry my big ole floppy hat is covering up that darlin' grin of yours)

Anyways, as i listened to that song this evening, it really brought it home to me...I'm attaching the words to the song i've been referencing...and I'm reflecting on any areas of my life that might play out as verses in this song.

May I come to a place someday that has no regrets - that has no unspoken "I Wish" phrases...

..alas...i close with the aforementioned words......

One Life to Love

by 33 Miles

He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand

Until he started praying for, a second chance

If he could only do it all again

He'd trade the long nights that he spent behind his desk

For all he missed

He tells his wife, "I wish that this moment in this room was not me dying, but just spending a little time with you."

You only get just one time around

You only get one shot at this

One chance, to find out

The one thing that you don't wanna miss

One day when it's all said and done

I hope you see that it was enough, this

One ride, one try, one life...

To love....

She never thought she cared so much about those little hands

That held on tight the day she left

Til she was scared to death

Sitting all alone on a hotel bed, the end of the road

The sun had set on her big plans

To feel young again

She picks up the phone, dials the number, hears that little voice

That's haunted every single mile, since she made that choice

You only get just one time around

You only get one shot at this

One chance, to find out

The one thing that you don't wanna miss

One day when it's all said and done

I hope you see that it was enough, this

One ride, one try, one life...

To love............

You only get just one time around

Only get one shot at this

One chance, to find out

The one thing that you don't wanna miss

One day when it's all said and done

I hope you see that it was enough, this

One ride, one try, one life........ One ride, one try, one life........ To love.... To love....

I sit tonight to blog. Mostly because I haven't blogged in a month. Secondly, because so much has happened in the last month, I feel I should!

Here's the scoop around the Lowe house these days...Meredith has turned 5 and lost her first tooth!

I took this the morning after she lost it. It was quite traumatic...bless her sweet heart...she is very sentimental...She kept telling me how special this tooth was...how it had been with her, her whole life! I love it...Because she was not yet ready to part forever with her baby tooth, she asked the Toothfairy if she could keep the tooth. She wrote her a note, promising to take care of it. Amazingly, the Toothfairy complied with her request, and still left her $1! (What a nice Toothfairy, in my opinion!)

I also added a pic of Cameron I took that morning. He is getting so big. Currently, his vocabulary is gaining momentum...Right now, he keeps telling us there are sharks everywhere...under his bed, out in the back yard...it's pretty funny. And on another front, he's entered a new stage of eating. Cheeseits. But because he's two, he can't quite say the whole word. So he calls 'em Chee-Chees. Nice.

During the Christmas holidays we went as a family to a Texas Tech Men's Basketball game. Here are a few pics of that outing.

Meredith and Kristi

John and Cameron

John, Cameron and Meredith (with a yellow balloon she was very attached to that day)

Interestingly, we didn't sit the entire game in the seats we originally had. John works for UMC, and gets pretty good seats through that...This was the view of the game when we got there......

But it's funny how Meredith brings such a different perspective to our life. What one would view as good, she saw no 'value' in. Before long, she asked to move seats...namely to the upper deck. So up to the top we went. She told us she liked being able to see the whole game. Oh if we just listen to our kids...they have such wisdom in very simplistic ways. Why be so close to something that you can't see the whole thing? Better to have a view of the big picture. Huh...I think I could stand to learn a little from that idea sometimes!

As for the rest of the 'stuff' going on in the wild lives of the Lowes...it's the normal, day-to-day stuff. We were blessed to get to see some precious family and friends during the Christmas break. We have a webcam now, so it's been fun 'seeing' friends and drinking coffee while we pretended we were in the same town. I love how technology has brought us a little closer. :)

Well, I've been blogging since Grease started on the ABCfamily channel. We're to the part at the dance competition and I think Danny's fixing to dump Sandy to dance with the vixen in the blue/black dress. I love this movie. It reminds me of sleep overs at Ashleigh (Krieger's) house when we were in high school........

Before I close...Happy New Year! Blessings to you and your family in 2009~

kris

Santa Sez.....

So I talked to Santa yesterday. I know, I know, he's busy this time of year, but I told his secretary it was urgent, and he called back. The convo went something like this:

Me: Hey Santa listen, I kinda have a problem. I have no Christmas spirit this year. The tree is up, and the kids have forced me to put theirs up in their respective rooms, but as for the rest of the house, it just ain't gonna happen.
Santa: Ok. Go on.
(don't you just love that Santa? Such a listening ear...)
Me: So here's the deal. I'm a bit worried that you won't be making a stop at my house if I don't get all the other Christmas Crap put up in every corner of the house. And if you don't stop, I'm gonna have some serious explaining to do to my very precious children. So....
Santa: Hey Kristi, do you remember why we have Christmas?
Me: Yes. It really isn't about you at all. It's about Christ's birth.
Santa: Yes, dear child, you are right. And as long as you teach those kids about Him, I don't care if you decorate a single darn shelf, or put lights on the house, or anything else that makes it look like a "50% off sale at Hobby Lobby" Hurricane hit your house. Keep the Spirit of Him in Christmas, dear child. Those kids won't give a hoot about your house. They just want to feel the joy of the Celebration.
Me: Thanks Santa.
Santa: Oh, Kristi?
Me: Yes?
Santa: One more thing. Will you still leave me some Jesus' Birthday Cake? I love that you do it different...everyone else leaves me cookies. And I sure do love that cake you make.
Me: Really, Santa?! I never knew you liked it so much. Sure, I'll still leave you a piece of cake. Thanks again, Santa.
Santa: No prob, bob....I mean...HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!!!

It's about the SPIRIT of the season. Not the presents, the food, the clean perfect house that smells like cinnamon and pine and enough lights to make Clark Griswald jealous. It's about remembering a sweet new baby that came to save this world.
kris

Halloween 2008

I know, I know, I know.....it's been since Sept since I posted. This may sound weird, and if so, sorry - but the things in my head these days have been pretty deep...and I have attempted several times to write, but the words just don't seem to do justice to what is inside my heart and brain. There are two posts I wrote, but just couldn't post. I think sometimes the Lord uses my time to write as a time to teach me, and I just didn't feel released to post the things He was pressing on me. It was a time of learning to hear and heed, not write and read!

All that being said, I am here now, with Halloween pics to share. Here are a few of my babes from the Halloween season. Cameron was a skeleton one night, and a Red Raider the next night (yeah, we divided it up over two nights...long story). Meredith decided to be a monster this year. Our family rule is that we can't be anything scary...so after she told me she wanted to be a monster, I told her the rule. About 2 days later, she came to me requesting to be Sully - the monster from Monsters, Inc. She rationalized that he was a nice monster because he helped Boo get back to her house. How can you argue with that?! :)

As Memzie says, A little bit of 'Sas'!It really cracked me up when I was taking their pics...they both went straight for the tree in the front yard....its so funny to me how that's where they want to 'pose'. Oh well, I really don't care, as long as they'll sit still long enough to snap a pic! (and forgive us for the weeds in the flowerbeds...I would rather play with kids than pull weeds!)

Well, until next time....and if I don't post again until New Year's.....Merry Christmas! :) ha!

kris